I was very apprehensive about sharing my thoughts on this topic. I didn’t want it to seem as though I was taking sides with a particular gender and speaking badly about another. I believe there is a clear misunderstanding as to what Dating, Courting and a Relationship is. Let me explain. Dating is “the stage of a romantic relationship whereby two or more people meet socially, with the aim of each assessing each others suitability as a prospective partner in an intimate relationship or marriage.” Dating doesn’t mean you are in a committed relationship, as dating is not meant to be long term. Boyfriend and girlfriend relationship is an example of when two people decide to date each other. What is the difference then between dating and dating someone? When we are dating we are seeking an ideal partner, however, when we decide to date someone, and sometimes engage in sexual relations, then we are courting.
Courting is defined as “the period of development towards an intimate relationship, wherein people (usually a couple) get to know each other and decide if there will be an engagement or romantic arrangement.” When you begin to court you are now in a committed relationship. This relationship is expected to be a long term situation and eventually lead to marriage. A Relationship can be “a strong, deep or close association or acquaintance between two or more people” or “a connection between two people driven by love and/or sexual attraction.” There are different types of relationship. There are casual relationships between friends, romantic relationships that involve dating, courting which is an intimate relationship and family relationships. The issue of persons not understanding clearly what dating, courting or a relationship entails, has lead to decreased moral values and respect for each other. Here are Sharla’s Thoughts.
Growing up, our grandparents taught us that when we meet someone we like we should introduce them to our family. We would then go out on several dates with this individual. Once we have decided that the relationship has the potential for marriage, then next would be courting. Now I know you’re going to say that was “the olden days.” However, I believe that if we were to still practice these values things would be different now.
A woman would not be shamed if she dates more than one man. A man would not expect that when he takes a woman out for the first time, she must engage in sexual intercourse with him. A woman would not seek the company of a man for the sole purpose of money. A woman would value herself more and set higher standards for herself and her relationship. Men would respect women and women would respect men. Dating first, establishing a relationship and then courting would lead to decreased divorced rates, cheating, children being born out of wedlock, women being shamed and men being used.
I’m not saying these problems will go away, however they can lessen. These values will then be passed on to our children, who will in turn learn to respect themselves and others. These are my thoughts on the matter, tell me what you think.